biography: my first love
When I was young I didn't really get out of the house much. Instead, I divulged myself in books, and lots of them. I really loved fantasy and sci-fi, I imagined myself in worlds far away living a different life than the boring one I was in, but my favorite genre was romance.
In elementary school, or even middle school, I didn't have a lot of romance going on in my life, nor did I have any experience with it. Instead, I would watch other students flirt and smile as I stood by the wall with my books in hand. I was too awkward to talk to boys and too ugly for any of them to like. Instead, I'd laugh along as guys talked to me to impress my friends, wishing that one day someone would like me back.
Looking back, you could definitely say I was a hopeless romantic, and a big one at that. I fantasized about love a lot, like what it would be like. The thing was, I never really thought it would happen though. The thought of 2 people liking each other at the same time was crazy to me because I had liked so many guys but they never liked me back. More than that, I didn't understand how 2 people could like each other for. so. long. Honestly it's still kind of a mystery to me.
Fast forward to college and I was still single. I had my first boyfriend in high school and boy was it an experience. Relationships turned out to be so much more different than I had hoped or ever wished. I remember asking this older girl who had been in a relationship for 2 years how she did it, how she found a boyfriend. I distinctly remember her telling me that I would find one sooner than I thought and turns out, she was right.
Winter break freshman year, I started dating one of the guys I was friends with in high school. It was unexpected, like VERY unexpected. It kinda just happened and although I had never imagined myself liking him, much less dating him, we fit together so well. We liked the same foods, had the same music taste, and made each other laugh so much. More than that, I liked being around him. In fact, I loved it. He made me feel so special and important, like I really was his world and no one had ever made me feel like that. Just as quick as we started dating, I quickly fell in love. I've never considered anyone my person before, but he was it. He was my boyfriend, my person, my home and my best friend all in one.
Throughout our relationship, I would laugh at how I used to think I would always be single and never find love because I had finally found it. It was always right in front of me and now I had it. I had it and it was truly everything I thought it would be. He made loving me seem so easy and I don't know how he did it but he did.
Not only did my boyfriend teach me what it meant to be in love, he also showed me what it meant. He showed his affection so well that I was astonished that I had ever put up with anything less from any other guy. He would surprise me with donuts in the morning, made me a gudetama cake for my 20th birthday, and took me out on cute dates. He put in so much effort that it was impossible to not see how much he cared.
He was my first love and although we're broken up now, I'm so grateful that he showed me what love really looks like. For a long time, I thought I would never find love, that no one would ever be able to love me, but he did and I'll always remember that.
In elementary school, or even middle school, I didn't have a lot of romance going on in my life, nor did I have any experience with it. Instead, I would watch other students flirt and smile as I stood by the wall with my books in hand. I was too awkward to talk to boys and too ugly for any of them to like. Instead, I'd laugh along as guys talked to me to impress my friends, wishing that one day someone would like me back.
Looking back, you could definitely say I was a hopeless romantic, and a big one at that. I fantasized about love a lot, like what it would be like. The thing was, I never really thought it would happen though. The thought of 2 people liking each other at the same time was crazy to me because I had liked so many guys but they never liked me back. More than that, I didn't understand how 2 people could like each other for. so. long. Honestly it's still kind of a mystery to me.
Fast forward to college and I was still single. I had my first boyfriend in high school and boy was it an experience. Relationships turned out to be so much more different than I had hoped or ever wished. I remember asking this older girl who had been in a relationship for 2 years how she did it, how she found a boyfriend. I distinctly remember her telling me that I would find one sooner than I thought and turns out, she was right.
Winter break freshman year, I started dating one of the guys I was friends with in high school. It was unexpected, like VERY unexpected. It kinda just happened and although I had never imagined myself liking him, much less dating him, we fit together so well. We liked the same foods, had the same music taste, and made each other laugh so much. More than that, I liked being around him. In fact, I loved it. He made me feel so special and important, like I really was his world and no one had ever made me feel like that. Just as quick as we started dating, I quickly fell in love. I've never considered anyone my person before, but he was it. He was my boyfriend, my person, my home and my best friend all in one.
Throughout our relationship, I would laugh at how I used to think I would always be single and never find love because I had finally found it. It was always right in front of me and now I had it. I had it and it was truly everything I thought it would be. He made loving me seem so easy and I don't know how he did it but he did.
Not only did my boyfriend teach me what it meant to be in love, he also showed me what it meant. He showed his affection so well that I was astonished that I had ever put up with anything less from any other guy. He would surprise me with donuts in the morning, made me a gudetama cake for my 20th birthday, and took me out on cute dates. He put in so much effort that it was impossible to not see how much he cared.
He was my first love and although we're broken up now, I'm so grateful that he showed me what love really looks like. For a long time, I thought I would never find love, that no one would ever be able to love me, but he did and I'll always remember that.
Hi Audrey! I really related to this post about relationships. I didn't really have any romantic experience with guys in elementary, middle, or high school. I would have crushes, but they wouldn't be serious. I didn't start dating until college and finding a boyfriend was very unexpected. I got together with my boyfriend in the February of my freshman year and we've been together for 3 years now! My boyfriend is great and I feel incredibly lucky to have someone who complements me so well and who I can grow with too. I'm happy to hear that you had such a great first love. Reading the post really did warm my heart.
ReplyDeleteHi Audrey! I really liked your personal take on relationships and how you approached everything with an open heart and mind. So many people have a lot of negativity and spitefulness towards their exes, but your ability to look back on those memories with a grateful attitude is very mature and shows that you take things in life as learning experiences.
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